June 2008 Archives

I love the scene below from Boiler Room (viewer discretion advised) in which Ben Affleck delivers his “Act As If…” speech. The point is that if you’re going to sell, then you have to look the part. It doesn’t matter if you’re in sales or not, you need to dress for the position you want because you’re always selling yourself. The position you want may not even be with your current company; but you need to always look good because you never know who is looking at you.

Unlike the boys hustling shares of stock, we’re not all pulling down $25K per month; so lining our closets with the latest trends seen in Men’s Health or Playboy is not an option. Here are 5 ways to cut some corners with suits and still look good:

1) Suits

Buy the inexpensive styles of the suits you saw in the magazines. Jos. A. Bank and Men’s Wearhouse are constantly having sales on decent quality suits. Pick a store and find a dynamic contemporary pattern you feel comfortable with. Dillard’s and Macy’s always have sales too, but getting a good opinion or measurements from a general department store salesman can be hit or miss.

On style, feel free to venture from the typical browns and blacks as just a subtle charcoal pinstripe or a something cooler for the summer months such as a taupe are fetching. Go with the 3-button suits as they are seen as more stylish.

Also, when shopping for a suit, you will need a second set of eyes because the colors will all begin to bleed together. I suggest bringing a girlfriend (platonic or otherwise) or a gay male friend. If you have a friend that still wears Croakies around his sunglasses for any activity aside from boating, do not bring him!

2) Dress Shirts

If you’re on a budget, then your shirts are the most important aspect of your wardrobe. This is where you get a chance to create your own sense of style. This doesn’t mean buying a Polo dress shirt from a department store. It means looking to some high quality designers and custom clothiers. Spend the $125 required on a high quality dress shirt. You need at least three. Find your style with the likes of Thomas Pink, Paul Smith or Ted Baker to name a few. They can be found online or at your local haberdashery. Never doubt the power of a custom shirt. Check out a company such as Tom James that has been manufacturing custom made shirts for years. It’s big boy time, so only get French cuffs. It takes us approximately 45 minutes less than the average woman to get dressed in the morning, take the extra 90 seconds to put cuff links into your shirts.

3) Cuff Links

Again, you have a chance to exhibit your own style without having to dye your hair or install permanentMF Cuff Links ink onto visible areas of your body. For the most part, cuff links can be anything you choose. My only rule of thumb is to make sure the metal (usually gold or silver) matches your belt buckle (and watch if you wear one). I can go into any haberdashery and find hundreds of cuff links that will match my shirts and ties. Unless you are close with your client or work in familiar office space, I would stick with a more conservative design during the day. Night time is the time to break out the spinning roulette wheels.

4) Sport Coats

The sport coat is great because there is almost no wrong answer. They are versatile in that one or two coats can pair with many combinations of dress pants or nice jeans. I wouldn’t go nuts like TNT’s Craig Saeger, but you should definitely feel free to express yourself some here.

5) Rule on Blue

I can’t stress this enough. If you were blue slacks or have a blue suit, you need to wear brown NOT black shoes. Unless you are in the United States Marine Corp, there are no exceptions to this rule. Ok, there really are, but to be safe please use brown. If nothing else, the ladies will definitely notice your dress savvy.

Bottom Line

Perception is reality. Dress how you want to be perceived.

I’ve given the short, short version several times to many people, but there is always a plethora (Three Amigos) of questions that ensue about the setup, espionage and deceit (necessary) that took place to make this magical event everlasting and memorable. Three months of planning and preparation went into the engagement night, so I’ve decided to break the entire story up into a few posts. In this post, I will give you the story about the night I asked Heather Platt to be my wife…I think that’s what I said to her.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

630PM – Heather and I left my parents house for dinner at one of my most favorite restaurants…Restaurant Cuvee on Magazine Street in downtown New Orleans. She had known about the dinner reservation for nearly two months as I told her that I was dying to go back since I hadn’t been back since before Katrina. When I asked her, she had no suspicions because we both love to try great restaurants.

At this point, I wasn’t nervous at all. I felt all the pieces were in place, so all that was left was the timing and execution.

At a traffic light outside the Superdome, I flashed a picture of Heather looking beautiful in her black dress. As she fiddled with the camera, I grazed my right hand across my left jacket pocket to make sure the two rings were still in there.

700PM – Dinner was served at Cuvee over a nice bottle of French red. Heather went for the filet marinated in bleu cheese served over a piece of prime rib. I had some sort of soft-shell crab that I wasn’t too impressed with largely because I felt it didn’t reflect its menu description. She polished off the filet but left the slab of prime rib. The conversation was light and interesting as always. Dinner was being served at a nice pace and the bottle of wine began to take our conversation off onto strange tangents. I wish I could say that I remember most of it, but my mind was heavily occupied with the two brilliant ovals in my left pocket.

I still wasn’t nervous. I kept reminding myself that she still had no idea what was coming, and I relaxed by listening to her childlike enthusiasm. Her vigor kept me at ease because I knew she would always be able to make me smile.

730PM – My family (Mom, Dad, Chenae, Chris, Caitlyn, Jacob (Caitlyn’s BF) and Heather’s parents were having dinner at Café Adelaide at the Lowe’s Hotel.

825PM – We ordered dessert and two cappuccinos. We weren’t really hungry, but she has a sweet tooth and I needed to kill about 15 more minutes. After we ordered, I excused myself to the restroom.

I was alone in the marble-lined restroom. I removed the two rings from the small jewelry bag in left pocket. I put her Grandmother’s ring in my right pocket beneath my money clip…the engagement ring into my left pocket beneath my Blackberry. I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I was in order and then I repeated several times, “Old…right…new…left, old…right…new…left.”

840PM – We wrapped up dessert. I went to the restroom again because I actually had to go and had forgotten before. She then went, and I paid the bill.

845PM – On the way to the car, I suggested we go take a walk on the River until Kim and Paul (already in town) could meet us for drinks. It was a mild New Orleans night with that pinkish-blue sunset. It was turning out to be a nice night. She was excited to go for the walk because we had spent time in downtown New Orleans but rarely alone.

9PM – We walked out of the Hilton parking garage towards Spanish Plaza. I called Kim, strategically, on my cell phone to let her know where we should meet when she got downtown.

As I hung up the phone, we were about 50 yards from the River barricade. All of a sudden, I finally felt my heart rate increase rapidly. I knew my plan was to hold the older ring (missing the center stone) and act like I saw it on the ground. I had my hand in the correct pocket, but I couldn’t seem to shake it free from under my clip. Meanwhile, I was doing a poor job of playing it off as we were basically walking in miniature circles.

Heather quickly saved me and pointed out some ship doing something fast in the water.

“One question,” I asked myself as she spoke. “Are you ready for this?” “Yes,” I answered and quickly bent over on my right leg…

“Look at this baby,” I acted as though I’d just picked it up off the ground. She looked over curious and confused, and I handed her Grandmother’s ring to her.


I watched her face carefully for three seconds (felt like ten).

As soon as I saw the recognition of the ring in her eyes, I pulled the new ring out of my left pocket and dropped to one knee. Her initial reaction was confused as I could see she didn’t know if I was serious or not, but she soon realized I was serious as I began my speech with my right hand on her waist and my left clenching tightly to the ring. Her hands were resting on my shoulders. She burst into her tears for the first time. Her poor eyes were covered by the seemingly endless stream of joy. She later told me that all she initially saw of the ring was the sparkle because there was so much haze over her eyes.

My speech began with, “Heather…” and I honestly can’t tell you (neither can she) what I said after that. I know the points I wanted to make to her, and I did do that.

I ended with, “Heather, will you be my wife?”

“Yes!” she tried to scream out in a teary voice. I put my arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.

Then, I stood up, hugged her and said, “I gave you four of the five things (missing family) that are most important to you on your engagement.”

“Baby, it was perfect,” she cried towards me as we walked away from Spanish Plaza.

Almost finished…the hard part is over…just get to the hotel.

­915PM – I started walking her away from Spanish Plaza as she pulled out her Blackberry.

“I guess you saw my parents earlier, so that’s family…right…that’s five then?” She agreed. “Don’t you want to call your parents?”

“Oh yes!” she laughed like she’d forgotten about the whole world.

As she did that, I texted Caitlyn, “She said yes! On our way!”

“Oh, I guess they’re in bed by now,” she sighed.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

She then called her brother, Victor and her friend Star in Seattle. As she told her, she started crying immediately. Meanwhile, I was rushing us to the Café Adelaide because I wasn’t sure if everyone was finished eating.

Standing outside of the Lowe’s Hotel with the doormen staring at us, Heather continued to gab about something completely unrelated to marriage to Star.

Typical!! My heart was racing because I knew I was so close to completing the last step.

I was dragging her into the hotel and asking her to get off the phone. She finally told Star that she really had to go because of me.

As we turned into the bar of the hotel, Kim and Paul sat on the edge smiling. As soon as Heather saw Kim, she burst into tears for the third time. I reached over and shook Paul’s hand.

Almost there…only one more step to make this night perfect. Paul played it great like the night was already concluded. Kim was great in asking Heather if she wanted to go sit at their table in the back. Heather obliged.

Kim guided Heather to the back as Paul and I slowly pulled up the rear. Caitlyn was standing on the far side of the large table and snapped shots of Heather as she stopped dead in her tracks and cried for the fourth time. Her tears came from the six people (my family) she saw sitting at the table. She had failed to notice the other two. As she walked over toward Chenae (I think), she noticed the two other people at the table…her Mom and Dad. Heather’s tears turned to waterfalls.

Heather Seeing Her Parents

Heather Hugging Her Dad

Me Whispering to Her

She ran to them and hugged them aggressively. She then rushed to me to bury her head in my shoulder. I put my arm around her, put her ear to my lips and whispered, “Now, your family is here too. I gave you the five most important things. I love you baby.” She cried more and hugged me tight.

I pulled up a chair in between my mom and dad. I watched her enjoy herself with everyone seated at the table. Over our freshly poured Vodka-Sodas, we listened to everyone recount their stories of the planning over the previous 3 months. The topper was the “Proposal Agenda” I’d created for everyone that night.

Heather and My Parents

Heather and Her parents

The Agenda

The New Fam

Good Friends

Pure Joy

So, I’ve been engaged just over a week.  I know I’ve promised many of you a detailed version of the story via my blog.  First of all, thank you all so much for caring!  It’s great to know so many people have your best interests at heart.  Second, my plan was to do it this past weekend; however, viewing wedding sites is a more time consuming process than I thought.  Needless to say, after viewing 5 wedding sites spread all over metro Atlanta (drove over 300 miles in two days) and a soccer game on Sunday, I was quite worn down.  One thing I noticed is that looking at wedding sites starts to be like shopping for a suit…eventually, they all start looking alike.

The engagement story…it’s coming…I promise!